Football and Trains and Dolls, Oh My

I have a little boy. And he has tons of interests.

Like football...


...and riding bikes...


...and dinosaurs, and trains...


And mischief-making with other little boys.


Pretty typical boy, right? Oh yeah, he also likes to play with makeup...


...and baby dolls...


...and get his toenails painted just like mommy's.


Shocking, huh? Imagine my surprise at each diaper change when I find that he still has a penis.

A lot of people seem to think it's a bad idea to let little boys play with "girl toys" like dolls and do "girly things" like wear makeup. I cannot imagine why. In all my research, you know what I've found? The color pink won't turn him into a girl (though there's nothing wrong with being a girl!). Makeup won't turn him gay (though there's nothing wrong with being gay!). And frankly, I can think of no better toy for a future father to play with and learn from than a baby doll.

Honestly, I feel sorry for the future partners of little boys who aren't allowed to play with "girly" toys. I quite often find that the women who prohibit their sons from playing with baby dolls are the same women who complain about their husbands doing nothing around the house and not participating in parenting. It is quite sad, really. Maybe if their husbands had been given a doll as a child they might be a bit more nurturing.

Don't get me wrong - I don't necessarily encourage dolls and makeup over trains and dinosaurs. But Liam does have plenty of both, because I hate gender stereotypes and though it is largely unavoidable, I want him to be sheltered from them as much as possible. I just want him to be whoever HE wants to be.

Don't Act So Surprised!

Oh no! I have to have a C-section! I am 37 weeks and i was induced this morning but after six hours on pitocin my cervix is just not dilating and baby's heart rate is dropping! The doctor says we need to get him out now! Going into the OR now :( :( :(

I hate when people say crap like this. Don't act so fucking surprised; this is YOUR fault, you know.

Well, I guess your idiot doctor, trying to fit you into his schedule and billing cycle before he goes on vacation, is partially at fault too. But YOU are the one who showed up at the hospital on the doctors orders. YOU are the one who signed a consent form for induction. YOU are the one who extended your arm for the IV. And YOU are the one responsible for making sure you are aware of the risks of any medical procedure.

Among its many risks, induction makes you much more likely to "need" a C-section - in fact, it is estimated that up to 40% of inductions end in a C. 40 percent! It usually goes something like this: cervix not dilating (yeah, cuz it wasn't ready to start dilating in the first place), baby's head not engaging (no shit, baby doesn't want out yet), baby's heart rate begins to drop (pitocin contractions are much longer and stronger than natural contractions, and can lead to compression of baby's blood and oxygen supply), doctor tells mom that baby is in distress and will need to come out NOW, parents freak out and consent to surgery that probably would have been unnecessary had you just let your baby come in his own time.

Some people seem to think this is no big deal. But C-sections have many of their own risks, including infection, hemorrhage, uterine rupture, failure to bond and establish breastfeeding, and even death. And early induction/c-section - before 40-42 weeks - presents its own unique set of risks, like immature brain and lung development (pretty important stuff).


So why - other than in true cases of medical necessity - are so many women choosing to induce, when these risks are printed in clear black ink on the consent forms?

My answer: SELFISHNESS. I know how uncomfortable the last few weeks of pregnancy are. I am a relatively small person and had Pubis Symphysis Disorder with my pregnancy so bad to the point that sometimes it was excruciating just to get out of bed. I totally get the desire to be DONE. But you know what? My baby's health and development are way more important to me than my own comfort. Maybe I'm sensitive to this issue because I nearly gave birth at 29 weeks and was on strict bed rest for 8 weeks to avoid having a preemie... But I gotta say that getting induced because you are uncomfortable or "done being pregnant" is really not a great way to start off parenthood. You know, since the child's needs are supposed to come before your wants, and all that.

I know that there ARE situations that can truly cause a need for an induction ("the baby is too big" is NOT one of them), but if you can avoid it, do. And if you STILL decide for induction, even knowing the risks involved, well, don't expect me to feel sorry for you as you are wheeled into the OR for your "emergency" c-section.

Basketball, Religion, and Penises

I went to my little brother's basketball game this weekend. Though he is not Jewish, he plays for a team at a Jewish Community Center. I love going to his games (especially since he is really good and the team kicks butt!), but whenever I walk in there and see all the Jewish families with their kids doing various activities being hosted in the center, all I can think is... I bet all these little boys have been cut. And it makes me sad. And angry and disappointed that anyone not only thinks its ok to impose their own religion on a child, but is totally cool with belonging to a religion that requires the amputation of children's body parts... And a celebration of said amputation.


It's a penis cutting party! BARF.

Some people who are against circumcision make an exception for "religious reasons". Well, I don't. Either it's wrong or it's not. Call me anti-Semite, whatever. I'm anti - cutting babies, whether that be in the name of health, hygiene, aesthetics, or mythical penis-obsessed sky daddies. I have the utmost respect for Jews who go against the grain and don't participate in this disgusting tradition. But what kind of parent can look at their newborn child and say "this thousands of years old book told me I have to cut off part of your penis, and I love this book more than I love you so I'm calling the mohel"???

In the words of the late great Christopher Hitchens:

My three delightful children are my only chance at a second life, or even an immortal one. And I'll tell you something; if I was told to sacrifice them to prove my devotion to God and admire the man who said, "yes, I'll GUT MY KID to show my love of God", I'd say no... fuck you.

Next time I go to the JCC for a basketball game, I will really be hoping that some of the parents there said "fuck you", too.

Why I Am Not Quitting Blogging

I haven't really been blogging in a while. I was kind of thinking about quitting altogether, and maybe deleting this entire blog. Bye bye BB&B.

I'm not really going to delete it. But I am just really discouraged sometimes by the absolute idiocy I see in humans on a daily basis when it comes to certain issues, and I don't know if my silly little blog makes a difference. Why even try when the assholes seem to far outnumber me? Maybe I should just go breastfeed my intact toddler in a corner and shut up about it. But then I see comments like this:


and this:


..and get asked if I have a Facebook fan page (I don't, as I'm convinced that approximately four people would "like" it), and I am reminded that even one changed mind matters, and there IS intelligent life out there listening. So I will get back to ranting writing shortly. And if YOU ever get down on yourself as an intactivist, lactivist, car seat safety advocate, or any other kind of child's rights activist, remember that even if you have to deal with people like this:


There are others (with more brain cells) listening.

Location:Fairfax,United States

Intactivist Card GIVEAWAY!

Do you ever wonder what you can do to raise awareness for intactivism without being as in-your-face and pushy as I am? Well, when I'm feeling a little more subdued, instead of ranting on the interwebz, I go "carding" - that is, placing informational cards in clever places like stores, malls, and doctors' offices where they are bound to be seen - and hopefully spark some thought in the mind of whoever comes across them. Here are two of my favorite cards:

This one is perfect for the holiday season - and stores actually like them because they look so festive! Try putting them on formula shelves, in boxes of diapers (especially premie sizes), in the pages gossip magazines, or on tables at your doctors' office. Anywhere someone will see it works. 

I love this one because it is (for obvious reasons) quite attention-grabbing. The purpose of this type of card is to detract from the notion that foreskins are "gross" or "unsexy", and encourage the idea that intact men are normal, desirable, and sexy! These are great to slide between the pages of a romance novel or "sexy" magazine, on the shelves of adult novelty stores, or even in the lube and condoms section of the grocery store. 

Does this sound like something you might like to do? Well, you are in luck! Until December 31st, Saving Our Sons & The Intact Network are giving away FREE info card sample sets to Babies, Boobs, & Blasphemy readers! To get some for yourself, all you have to do is the following:

1. Find/like your local Intact Chapter.

2. On your chapter's page, link to your favorite circumcision-related post from BB&B.

3. Email your name and address to TheIntactNetwork@gmail.com to receive one or both of these sets of intact cards! You should receive your cards by Monday.

Happy carding!

A Friendly Winter Reminder...

...that car seats and coats are a FATAL combination!

Seriously, they just don't mix. When your child is wearing a bulky winter coat, you need to loosen the straps to get him buckled in. In the event of an accident, the force of the crash will cause the coat to compress, leaving empty space between the straps and the child - potentially causing baby to fly right out!

This video gives a great visual explanation:

But, but... it's negative 10 degrees where I live! How is my kid supposed to stay warm?!

Try using a thin fleece instead. Your kid won't freeze to death on the walk from the house to the car. Or, carry your child to the car in his coat, but take it off once you get him inside the car. Then buckle him in and put the coat on backwards, or use blankets. 

It's a really simple step to potentially save your child's life.